forest_choir: (ferns)
[personal profile] forest_choir
My ideas of love are constantly evolving. 

I was raised without the concept. 
As a child, I only ever heard the word in a sarcastic tone.

I "fell in love" for the first time at age 8 and had no idea how to process what I was feeling. 

I was 16 the first time someone said "I love you" and meant it.
It was my best friend and he meant it in a selfless, platonic way (he still does more than 25 years later).

I met my partner at age 18 and we've been together ever since. 
He's the first person I ever "dated".  I don't know how we managed to form a lasting, funny, irreverent, solid relationship with my complete lack of a romantic idea, but it's working.  I think I modelled ideas for what I wanted in a relationship by observing some of my friends' long-married, loving parents.  Their homes had the mixture of peace, acceptance, and humour I was looking for.

In my twenties, I met a group of people who became my adopted family.
We chose to consider each other as siblings and have formed a large "extended family" of sorts.
Sometimes people move on and others join, but our family bond remains.

When I was in my thirties, I fell in love again - with a beautiful artist.
My concept of love was broadened again.  We've been in an open relationship for a decade now.
I don't see her as often as I'd like, but I'm learning to live with that.
It's been adventure getting to know her, her family, and her other partners.  It's another sort of family, another kind of love.

And along with my girlfriend, I inherited a relationship with her daughter, who was 8 at the time.
When we met, S told us, "If my daughter doesn't like you, I'll have to reconsider this whole thing."
We were relieved when we walked in the door and were engulfed in bear hugs.
I'd never been a parent before.  I still (sadly) have no children of my own.
But E has been my honourary stepdaughter for ten years now.
And it's been my pleasure to watch her grow into a well-adjusted, charming young woman.

One day, I hope to have a family of my own.
I long to hold my child in my arms and shower it with all the love my four decades on this planet have taught me how to feel. 

The Meme:
Day 01 – Introduction
Day 02 – Your first love

Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – Your physical constitution
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favourite memory
Day 18 – Your favourite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favourite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment.

December 2016

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